High Conflict Divorce Survival Tips

  1. If you have a Paid Lieyer or a Family Law Extortionist, consider whether they are doing you any good.  If so and  you can afford to keep them for 3-5 years (or more) then you  may elect to do so; however, many parents are coming to realize that they speak English just fine and thus are able to represent themselves to a judge who also understands the basics of the English language: and that they are also able to fill out their own paperwork, or hire a paralegal to help them through the Family Court's Endless Maze of hoops and/or "services."   Others are hiring Family law coaches to assist them.  One such person is Rory Stewart. His contact info is 760-990-3375, or  rory@stewardservices.com.  

  2. Some Family Courts offer a program called High Conflict Resolution: where all contact between Moms and Dads is done via recorded messages and/or email.  For more information do a yahoo or google search on "High Conflict Resolution" and your area of the country (i.e. City and State) to see if such services are available in your area.  For the San Diego area, one such place is www.highconflict.net. The phone number is  760-402-6082. 

  3. Beware of allowing a Private Mediator / "Licensed Clinical Social Worker" (LCSW) or Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT) on your case.  If you do so be certain to not sign a Release of Liability form: unless it includes a clause for accountability if any lies and/or gross distortions are told by them to the court.  Also make sure that any form you sign has a provision for you to Tape Record all sessions and present the tapes (or transcripts of them) in court -- AND that the mediation contract is NOT open ended, but rather has a limit to how long their services will last.  See: The Pitfalls of Private Mediation and When Private Mediation Fails for more details.   

  4. Family Court Services mediation also called FCS mediation.  This is NOT the same as number three above, and is often over with in one (1-hour) session.   However, because the FCS mediator will make recommendations to the court: including possible "therapy," "anger management," and/or a 730 psychological evaluation -- that sometimes costs over $10,000, it is very Important that you be as prepared as possible for what the FCS mediator may throw at you in his or her report. 

    One person who can help prepare you for a Family Court Services mediation session is Harry Crouch. Harry is also the current president of the National Coalition for Men and the Director of the California Mens Center in San Diego.  Harry's ph. number is 619-231-1909.  In this case, an ounce of prevention may be worth more than a ton of (so called) Family Court "cures:," each of which may cost hundreds to many 1000's of dollars. -- not counting the $1,000 -- 3,000 per month that you are pay your lawyer: if you can afford one.

  5. Many parents have elected to walk away from the Family Court Nightmare ... and their own child or children: simply because they ran out of Money with which they tried to placate the Family Court's cohort of liars and extortionists.  Or because they refused to honor the court and its cohort of Liars and Thieves as if they were God.  I understand why a parent would elect to do so since I am one of them -- who walked away from my own child whom I Love. And even though it was very painful, I felt that it was the best course of action, considering how corrupt, ignorant, apathetic and/or GREEDY the family law profession and the therapy industry has become, and how much LOOT that they can generate from false charges, "minutia," lies upon lies, and "minor parenting issues."

Randy S. Berg


See also:
PRI Self-Guided Court Program
Family Law Attorneys who Care