realization that the engine generating fatherless children is not the
fathers, but the state, takes on implications few have dared to confront."
While some divorced fathers don't want to be, or remain, involved with their children after divorce, the
statistics show that Most do. It is also a fact that many of those
Dads (or former Dads) who wanted to remain involved, were literally FORCED out
of their child's lives by
angry, unconcerned, and/or dishonest moms, and by (or with the help of) Apathetic, Greedy, and/or
Unjust (so-called) "Family
Courts." I know because I am one of them. And because I observed
what they are doing, up close, for over Five Years.
All together, they
used my Daughter, and the Love that I have for her to Generate about $120,000
dollars, and they WANTED MORE MONEY for me to be her Dad; however, rather
than continue to FUND their Child-Trafficking Scam, when I saw that they Really Didn't
care about anything other than how to spin anything and everything into More
and More Loot, I walked away from the relationship that I had with my
Daughter, and began to investigate what was going on, and how it is that our
courts could be so corrupt.
And in that process, I have discovered that
Divorced Fathers have been given a "bad rap," and slandered to no
end by apathetic, ignorant, and/or corrupt government officials, the media,
and feminists groups who helped them set up the system that we now have.
For example, Dr. Sanford Braver and his team
of researchers were the first researchers to interview both mothers and fathers who were
divorcing. They did so for eight years: their first set of parents were from 378 different families,
and which they followed for
three years. And what they discovered consisted of six different
"myths" that feminists and the media had succeeded in labeling (or
mislabeling) with regard to divorced fathers. These consisted of the
That Divorced Dads are Deadbeat Dads
That Divorced Dads are Runaway Dads
That Divorced Dads Impoverish their former
wives and Children
That Divorce Settlements tilt unfairly in favor of Divorced Fathers
That Fathers are better off emotionally than their Ex-wives and
Children after a divorce
That Fathers are the ones who most commonly initiate Divorce
Each of these are discussed in detail
in a book that was subsequently written by Dr. Sanford Braver and Dianne
O'Connell called Divorced
Dads: Shattering the Myths.
For example, Dr. Braver discovered that there
are only two primary reasons why fathers stop paying child support:
Because they lose their jobs, and
Because they can't see, or "visit" with their own kids: that
were taken away by corrupt "family courts."
He also stated on page 175 of his book
something else that is not commonly known, i.e. that:
"In a large proportion of divorces, the mother
sees little value in any contact between child and father. She doesn't
want to have to accommodate his desires or tastes as a father.
Instead, she wishes to be rid of him and his influence ..."
In her book on divorce,
"There are also some sinister
factors in play that often mean your case is decided based on how much
money the court will get in grant money, and how much incentive funding
the child support agency will earn ... (for the state) ..."
"Since you cannot predict the
outcome, you must do everything possible to stay out of family
court." p. 161
In other words, she is telling you to do your
best to compromise and (if possible) come to an agreement,
before going to court. One reason for this is because MANY of the
people who work there: including attorneys, therapists, and Private / LCSW
social workers are there for the Money and little else.
this topic. I quote them below.
... studies ... indicate the vast majority of divorced men meet
their obligations — and that those who don't often have good reasons.
According to Roger Gay, an internationally recognized child-support expert
based in Stockholm, the only meaningful child-support statistic is the
percentage of support ordered by the courts that actually gets paid. In
the U.S., he says, "fathers overall pay between 70% and 80% of what
is due." What's more, the highly publicized garnishments, suspension
of drivers' licenses, revocation of passports and jail sentences have
accomplished little. Despite the efforts of the 50,000 people employed by
the U.S. child-support collection bureaucracy — which costs $4-billion a
year — Mr. Gay says the percentage of child support paid hasn't changed
since the mid-'70s. "We've let too many years go by without admitting
to the public that these measures have been a failure."
difficulty in collecting the remaining 20% to 30% is due largely to the
fact that the war against deadbeats is really a war against the poor —
against men who have always been economically marginal or have been
impoverished by the divorce process itself. According to the Institute on
Poverty, half of non-paying fathers in Wisconsin earn less than $6,200 a
year and only one in 10 earns more than $18,500 annually. Other research
shows the unemployment rate is one of the most accurate predictors of
child-support compliance. (Although even then, half the men who were out
of work in one sample still managed to pay the full amount of
the same time that society is demanding divorced dads pay up, our courts,
governments and social services fail to recognize the huge effect losing
daily contact with one's children has on men's ability to earn a living. 'No
government and no court should be allowed to take a child from a parent
unless there is a very, very, very good reason,' says Dr. McBride. 'Because
to have a child ripped from you, it's the same as a child dying. It's
absolutely uncivilized, barbaric and devastating for any parent. It's not
uncommon for these people to suffer depressive breakdowns.' And
while a large, expensive system exists to collect child support from
divorced fathers, no parallel system helps ensure children's and father's
rights to close and frequent contact."
And that about sums up what is, and
has been taking place in North American and much of Europe for the past
Randy S. Berg, 2012,
Much more truth can be gleaned on
this subject from the following Links.
Dads, Donna Laframboise
Myth of Deadbeat Dads, by Stuart Miller, 1998
'Carrot' for Deadbeat Dads, by Catherine Rampell
The Myth of Deadbeat
Dads, by Stephen Baskerville, 2002
Myth of the Deadbeat Dad, Reader's Digest, 2001, by Donna Laframboise
Deadbeat Dads more myth
than reality, by Kathleen Parker, the Orlando Sentinel
Here is something that may help:
Guide to Winning the Divorce War
State-sponsored Malfeasance or Organized Crime?